This the week of attacks..
Attacks from friends, mentors
The beaten
The tears
No time to recover
Act like nothing’s happened
It’s not like a bomb was set off in my heart and soul..

Is it possible to have anxiety about being too happy? That things are going to right in your life and afraid that one big bad thing is going to happen to wipe away all the good things in your life?

joel osteen just stopped me in my tracks.

everytime he speaks, its as if he is speaking to me and knows what im going through.

todays sermon: dont complain or get depressed about hard times, trust in the power of god for him to help you, you can not expect for god to make things better and then you praise him…you must praise that he will turn your life around and trust in his power.

gave me chills.. 

however, there is always that doubt that this is fake, that no one can turn my life around but me. 

and this is the reason why religion is so fucking debatable and there is no facts to prove anything,

but the thought of someone watching you and helping you down this path to serve a greater purpose does give one a piece of mind that we arent here just bobbling through life, but that we have purpose on this chaotic planet.